


Guard

by AllTimePhan73



Category: Video Blogging RPF, jacksepticeye
Genre: Depression, Muteness, Sign Language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-30
Updated: 2018-11-30
Packaged: 2019-09-02 19:33:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16793371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AllTimePhan73/pseuds/AllTimePhan73





	Guard

It was safe to say JJ was the 'rock' of the group. Due to his inability to talk, he was the best listener. He wouldn't interrupt unless it was extremely necessary and, even then, the interruption was far from rude. It was usually just a little tap on the shoulder and then wise, signed words.

That's why it was so peculiar to see him in a vulnerable position. He had low days, just like every other human on the planet but, for some obscure reason, he refused to admit it. On those days, he'd shut himself away in his bedroom, lying in bed and staring up at the ceiling. If anyone found him, he'd lie about how he stayed up a bit too late doing something. No ever spared him a second glance.

Some days like _that_ particular day, managed to somehow be even worse. He'd long to be able to open his mouth wide and scream but no sound ever escaped- not even a tiny squeak. He got up like usual and made his way to the bathroom to shower. He gratefully stepped under the water that was ice cold, merely so he could remind himself he could _feel_. By the time he got out, he was shivering and his teeth were chattering but at least he felt a bit better emotionally. As he was slowly pulling on his shirt, a frantic knock sounded on the door, followed by, "JJ, it's Chase! Please come quick." Jackieboy Man was the one who spoke and his voice was shaking as if he was crying (he probably was).

Of course, JJ couldn't respond; instead buttoning his shirt up at twice the speed. He unlocked the door and was met with the sound of gentle sobs. He followed the noise and found Jackieboy Man bent down beside Chase who was hugging his knees tightly. Jackieboy Man looked extremely panicked which was understandable since his job was usually to physically fight someone for somebody. He was more than willing to fight demons that had physical forms but ones that remained in the mind were certainly not his forte. When it came to Chase and his internal struggles he was rendered as weak as a small child. JJ was the superhero on this subject. He bent down to meet Chase's height and listened to Chase's mumbles.

"Why'd she leave? What's wrong with me? I'm useless, weak, pathetic-" JJ let out a tiny sigh and lightly tapped the man's shoulder. Chase's wide eyes frantically diverted to JJ whose hands were moving at a slow pace for him to follow.

' _You are none of those things, Chase. You're so much stronger than you think, especially since you have managed to come this far._ '

Chase rapidly shook his head, deciding to sign back with shaky hands. He was scared to speak, in case he was incoherent because of the crying. ' _I'm not strong. I can't do this anymore._ '

' _Yes. Yes, you can._ ' JJ was growing frustrated. He wasn't thinking straight and that wasn't Chase's fault. It was just the terrible timing of one of his worst days. He longed to use his voice and be able to comfort Chase verbally but he _had_ to sign. The fact that Chase was voluntarily choosing not to speak wasn't helping. He didn't understand why someone who had been blessed with them ability to express thoughts through different noises, pitches and tones wouldn't do it.

' _It's too much._ '

' _You've made it this far; you can make it further._ '

' _You don't understand._ ' That struck a chord within JJ. He got up onto his feet, hands a blur as he signed.

' _No, you don't understand. You have no idea what it's like to not be able to talk and then see someone choose not to. I'd do anything to speak. I hate being silent._ ' JJ turned and stormed to his room, slamming the door loudly. He collapsed into his bed as angry tears streamed down his face. No one came to talk to him and he stayed there until long after the others went to bed. Then, when he heard the last person close their bedroom door, he tiptoed down the corridor to where he knew the alcohol was hidden.

-

Marvin was the first to find JJ. JJ had passed out in the living room, an empty bottle of whisky on the floor beside him. He frowned but didn't dare to wake him, instead grabbing the blanket they kept nearby and tucking him in.

-

When JJ woke up, he was confused and bearing the worst possible headache. He sat up, surprised when something soft fell off of his body into a pile on the floor. A blanket. His mouth fell open as he attempted to recall the events of the night before. Marvin was sitting on the other sofa with a book that looked old and frayed, probably a book of magic spells. "How are you feeling?" He questioned, glancing at his friend.

' _My head is killing me. Why did I drink so much?_ '

"Chase said you yelled at him. He was in such a state last night and you snapped at him."

The memory came back all at once and made his face fall dramatically. ' _I'm so sorry._ '

"It isn't me you should be apologising to." JJ nodded and got into his feet, practically running into Chase's room. The man was in his laptop, probably editing a video or browsing through Tumblr.

' _I'm sorry for snapping at you, Chase._ ' He signed with care and a gentle smile on his face to represent his compassion.

"It's alright," Chase shut his laptop, placed it to the side and stood up. "I understand why you were angry. I'm not the only person who can get upset here," Chase unexpectedly brought JJ into a warm embrace, burying his head into JJ's shoulder. "If anything, I'm sorry..." JJ couldn't reply because his arms were tightly wrapped around Chase. "If you're ever upset, don't prioritise me. Speak to someone."

Breaking from the hug, JJ signed, ' _I'll be okay. My problems are just ridiculous._ '

"No problems are ever ridiculous. If they bother you, they're a valid problem. And I mean, you're so strong all the time, even after all the traumatic stuff with Anti and your voice," JJ dropped his gaze to his feet and frowned. "You have to let your guard down sometimes."


End file.
